


Awake at Night

by skelpielimmer



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attraction, F/M, Fantasizing, Masturbation, OotP, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Remadora, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, remus x tonks - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:40:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27471373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skelpielimmer/pseuds/skelpielimmer
Summary: Tonks muses on her newfound obsession with Remus Lupin's hands. OotP.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks
Comments: 37
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

Nymphadora Tonks had a problem.

She'd always prided herself on her problem-solving abilities, her knack for puzzling out solutions to even the toughest cases she needed to crack at work, her resilience in the face of all that threatened to upend her. While her stealth and tracking abilities left a lot to be desired, there wasn't much out there that could (metaphorically) trip her up.

This time, though, she wasn't sure that her normally quick-thinking brain would find itself able - or even willing - to help her out of this one. Her brain was part of the problem, in fact, due to its inability to cooperate and pay attention to this evening's _very important_ Order meeting. And it was solely due to the fact that she thought she might be obsessed with someone's fingers.

Remus Lupin's, to be exact.

She'd always had a thing for nice hands, sure. The first boy she'd had a crush on at Hogwarts had had fairly nice hands in and of themselves; slender, long fingers, a pianist's hands. But her crush fizzled out nearly as soon as it had begun when she noticed that he often came back from the Quidditch pitch with dirt underneath his nails, dirt that would linger for far too long even after he'd showered and rejoined their group in the common room. Her first girlfriend at Hogwarts had had perfect hands. Small and impossibly soft, with well-manicured, slightly rounded nails that were often painted some soft, shimmering shade of petal pink.

She wasn't sure when the first time she'd noticed Remus' hands was. It was likely soon after they'd first met; he'd been the one with the honor of helping her off the floor after her inaugural run-in with the troll's leg, and his hand had felt warm and slightly calloused in her grasp; your average man's hand. The first thing she'd really noticed about him was that he had a kind smile, and that he didn't laugh at her for tripping and making a fool of herself as soon as she entered the door. The second thing she'd noticed was that she supposed he was rather attractive in a quiet, unassuming sort of way, but that his face was drawn and rather ill.

No, she couldn't remember exactly _when_ she had first studied his hands in further detail, but that wasn't the issue. The issue was how much space this rather unassuming part of his anatomy was taking up in her brain. She wasn't sure where the sudden sexual frustration was coming from, but the increasingly frequent fantasies about the man she thought of as a rather good friend at this point were starting to irk her. But not enough that she could find the will to deny herself the pleasure of indulging in them.

She shifted uncomfortably in her chair, trying to make it less obvious - especially to her cousin sitting across the table from her - that she was watching Remus. He had a tendency to lightly tap his fingers on the table when he talked, which he was doing now as he gave a report she knew she _really_ should have been listening to, especially considering it was a report from a mission she'd been on as well. But it looked as if Remus had it all handled; he'd always been better at all the boring talking bits than her, anyway. And he'd caught her zoning out earlier on in the meeting, flashing her a quick smile when Moody had asked her if she had their report and stepping in with a quiet "I've drawn it up, Alastor, I don't mind presenting to the group." He really was a gem of a man.

And so she was free to watch his fingers. Long, careful, and always with clean, well-manicured nails. She found herself spiraling down the bizarre train of thought she often did whenever she watched him use his wand; it always started off innocently enough. She'd find herself wondering what it would be like to hold his hand. Soon, she thought about what it'd be like to kiss him; whether he'd be gentle to start off with (likely) or whether he'd crash his lips against hers, whether he'd use teeth (probably not, because of the whole werewolf thing - she wouldn't care about it, but it was understandable). Whether he'd tangle his fingers in her hair, or whether he'd use his hands to grip her hips and pull her body against his. Either way, however she imagined him kissing her, this is when the heat between her legs would first ignite, a flicker of arousal low in her belly. And this is when she'd allow her mind to wander to more...improper questions.

Was he better with his fingers, or with his mouth? She found either possibility tempting. Either way, she bet he'd be gentle, almost frustratingly so; it wasn't usually her style, he wasn't usually her type, but for some reason the idea of his tender and hesitant ministrations just made her even more aroused.

She wondered if he jerked off. He _had_ to; nearly everyone did, didn't they? He was so calm and composed that it was almost impossible to imagine him doing so; but then again, he _must_ need a release every once in awhile if he were to keep his cool composure, wouldn't he? And now Tonks found herself realizing that it wasn't all that impossible to imagine him stroking himself off, after all; as soon as she wondered about it, the images popped unbidden into her mind. Did he think about her, the way she thought about him? She had a sneaking suspicion he might; she'd caught some wayward glances, oddly timed blushes; sometimes, when they were pressed together in close proximity while undercover on a mission, she could nearly feel the tension as they brushed up against each other. Neither of them had yet had the courage to make a move, but she thought she felt it. She'd been particularly intrigued by the way she'd caught him looking at her that one night she'd come back to Grimmauld to keep Sirius company after she'd been at the club with some friends; she'd been wearing a dress that night, rather short and tight, and though it was paired with tights and her usual combat boots she was almost one hundred percent certain that she'd caught Remus giving her a once-over before he'd quickly looked away, blushing as he offered to make her some tea. He was cute when he blushed.

She wondered what his cock looked like. Watching his fingers as he tapped the table lightly before fingering his wand which lay before him, she imagined those long fingers fumbling with his belt buckle, pulling down his trousers with uncharacteristic haste late at night, lying alone in his bed. Maybe he would be thinking about her; she hoped so. She felt her breath hitch slightly as she imagined him wrapping a hand around his cock, stroking himself to the thought of her, moaning - did he moan? He was probably quiet. Silent, even. He seemed the type who would be devastatingly embarrassed if anyone even mentioned masturbation around him; he would likely take any and all precautions to ensure that no one would ever hear or catch him having a wank. Maybe he jerked off in the shower, under the loud, hot spray of the water in the cramped bathroom upstairs.

Her breath caught in her throat momentarily as there was a lull in the conversation; looking up quickly from her very intense study of Remus' hands ( _you pervert_ , she admonished herself), she relaxed only for a moment when she realized that Mad-Eye was calling the meeting to an end. She froze again when she looked across the table to find Sirius watching her, an odd smile on his face.

"He'd say yes, you know," he murmured as the rest of the Order members started to bustle around them, shuffling papers and putting on cloaks. She noted with relief that Remus had stepped away towards the opposite end of the table to talk to Mad-Eye.

"What d'you mean?" she asked, too quickly. "Who'll say yes to what?"

His smile looked to be more of a smirk now. "You don't need to settle for fucking him with your eyes, Tonks, he'd be more than happy to partake in the real deal with you." His eyes flickered over to Remus now. "And that way, you two could take it to a private room and _I_ wouldn't have to watch my baby cousin absolutely ogle my best mate when she's supposed to be paying -"

"Shut the fuck up," she hissed. "I don't - I don't know what you're talking about." But she knew she was too late to morph away the burning flush from her cheeks before Sirius saw, and her cousin gave her a victorious grin as Remus came back round to their side of the table.

"Staying over tonight, Tonks?" he asked pleasantly. "You're more than welcome to. I know the meeting went very late and you've had a long day." She swallowed, avoiding his gaze and choosing instead to glare at Sirius, who let out a poorly disguised snort of mirth as soon as she replied in the affirmative.

"Yeah, I - it's late, and with all the charms on my flat, I'm knackered, and I think it would be quicker if I could just..."

"Your regular room is ready upstairs," Remus replied over his shoulder as he brought that evening's dinner dishes over to the sink. "Room next to mine, like usual. I put fresh sheets on yesterday."

"Oh, thanks, Remus. You didn't have to do that."

"It was no problem," he replied, back still turned to her as he set about washing the dishes. "I was doing up my own bed, so I figured I might as well."

She briefly squeezed her eyes shut at the mention of his bed, images of her earlier fantasies flashing back into her mind as she squeaked out another thank you. What the hell was wrong with her? She hadn't found herself unable to get through a simple conversation due to pure horniness since she was a hormonal teenager. She decided that she just needed a wank of her own quick before she went to sleep, and then she could work on putting all inappropriate thoughts of her friend and colleague out of her head. She quickly excused herself for the night, leaving Remus at the sink with his shirtsleeves rolled up to the elbows - _don't look, don't look_ \- and Sirius wearing that infuriating, shit-eating grin of his.

As she lay in bed upstairs, she decided to just get it over and done with. She just needed a quick wank of her own, let all the fantasies play out completely, then she could go to sleep and work on putting all inappropriate thoughts of her friend and colleague out of her head starting first thing the next day.

But that was for tomorrow. For now, she allowed herself to return to her earlier thoughts as she slowly slid her hand underneath the waistband of her sleep shorts, past the elastic of her knickers. She closed her eyes, picturing Remus' hands again, imagining that it was his fingers slipping between her legs rather than her own. Her breath hitched as she began to touch herself. She imagined his fingers inside her - yes, now she knew what she wanted. His fingers sliding in and out of her, his tongue on her clit -

She let out a loud moan before she could stop herself, then sat bolt upright and scrabbled for her wand to cast a silencing charm before she continued. It had been awhile since she'd had such specific fantasies about a specific person, and she was surprised at how wet she already was; this likely wouldn't take long.

She dropped her wand back on the bedside table and hastily thrust her hand back down between her legs to continue rubbing herself, using her other hand to push aside her flimsy camisole so she could massage her breast, rolling and pinching the nipple between her fingers as her right hand picked up speed between her thighs. Her head fell back against the pillows as she allowed herself to moan again, imagining his head between her thighs, her tugging on his greying hair as his mouth worked her over.

Now she was imagining what it'd be like to have him fuck her; his fingers wouldn't be enough. She thought about having his cock inside her, his lean body on top of hers, pressing her down into the mattress; her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, fingernails digging into his back as he thrust into her, hard enough to knock the headboard into the wall. The thought of him taking her slowly and gently was often appealing, as well, but she was so keyed up right now that all she could think about was him really _fucking_ her.

Her breathing started to hitch in her throat, the wet heat between her legs intensifying as the movements of her fingers became more frantic. She wondered what his face looks like when he comes, what he'd sound like as he released himself inside of her, and at this thought she suddenly felt her own release wash over her body with a small shudder and a soft moan as waves of pleasure washed through her.

Laying in her bed, sheets twisted around her legs as her breathing slowed, she suddenly felt dirty. She'd never been shy about masturbation, but she suddenly felt she'd been caught doing something embarrassing. Poor Remus would probably be horrified if he knew the things she'd been thinking about him all evening - the things she'd been thinking about him the past few weeks, really.

She decided to shower; perhaps the hot water would make her feel better. As she reached for her towel and padded out into the hallway, she was already starting to feel a little more normal again. Maybe the residual hot shame she still felt would be enough to drive all of these very much inappropriate thoughts of her mission partner out of her head.

She jumped, nearly stumbling over her own feet as the bathroom door suddenly opened, letting just a bit of light into the dark, dank hallway. It was late; she hadn't expected anyone else to still be up, and she'd been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't even heard the shower running, and so she was nearly as surprised as he when she found herself staring down a very startled-looking Remus, who was wearing nothing but a rather ragged towel around his waist.

"Tonks?" His hair was plastered to his forehead; Tonks willed herself to tear her eyes away from his face, as she could tell even from the pale bathroom light that he was blushing furiously. "Erm - I'm so sorry, I was just -"

"No, don't - don't apologize, I was just - sorry, I couldn't sleep and I just fancied a shower, so I thought...I didn't think anyone else would still be up."

"My - hot showers help when my back is sore, sometimes," he replied awkwardly, giving her a small smile. "I couldn't sleep, either."

"Oh, right. Because of the - because of the - right," she finished lamely. Now she really managed to tear her eyes away from him; with the mention of the moon, she didn't want him to think that she was ogling him for the wrong reasons, as his shoulders seemed to be hunched up now in a rather self-conscious way.

"Anyway, I'll get out of your way -"

"I'm - I hope your back feels better. And I hope you can get some sleep, you deserve it." She winced as soon as the words left her mouth. Why couldn't she ever think of anything normal to say around him anymore? But she saw him smile slightly, shoulders relaxing as he crossed the hallway to the doorway of his room.

"Thanks, Tonks. Enjoy your shower, and sleep well." And with that, he quickly disappeared into his room, leaving Tonks to enter the bathroom and lean heavily against the door once she shut it, breathing in the steam and the crisp, clean smell of his soap.

As soon as she closed her eyes, trying to stifle the embarrassment of the encounter from her brain, she realized that the image of him wearing nothing but a towel was now emblazoned across the inside of her eyelids. What was it she had been thinking about banishing all of those weird, hormonal-driven thoughts from her brain?

_Merlin, I'm fucked._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why yes, welcome to the second part of "I'm putting aside everything else I'm currently writing to publish this PWP instead." But still - it's been fun to write :) thoughts and comments welcome, and I hope you are well! And again - please heed the warning for this fic.

Remus Lupin had a problem.

He was tempted to say that the problem had only really arisen tonight, but if he was being honest with himself, he'd had this problem for awhile. It was just a matter of when it would come back to bite him, so to speak.

This problem in particular had been wearing her hair its usual pink throughout that night's meeting, a color which Remus had secretly come to look forward to seeing most days, though Remus could have sworn that the tips of her hair briefly flared red when he had met her gaze at one point during the meeting, accompanied by the faintest tinge of red staining her cheeks. He knew it was likely due to her worrying about being caught out at not paying attention by Mad-Eye, but part of him wondered if that was the only reason. She'd seemed rather flustered after they'd adjourned, too, when he'd asked her if she was staying the night. It wasn't like her to trip over her words; they'd spent many missions together at this point, let alone countless nights of tea or firewhiskey in the Grimmauld library, both with and without Sirius; she always had some joke to tell, something to talk about, some story to share. Remus found it fascinating, her constant stream of chatter; he didn't mind, he'd always been more of a listener anyway. And even more fascinating was the fact that she'd want to spend her free time sharing her thoughts with _him_ , of all people, when she could be out there spending her evenings talking to anyone else.

And, a small, bitter part of his brain reminded him, all of their late-night conversations gave him an excuse to look directly at her face without feeling quite like the lecherous older friend of her cousin that she'd likely think he was if she knew the thoughts he'd been having about her lately. Thoughts that up until tonight, he had mostly managed to convince himself were innocent feelings of friendship and strong admiration.

And speaking of her cousin, he certainly hadn't helped this problem. Not with what he'd told Remus nearly the second after Tonks had excused herself to bed for the night.

"She wants to shag you, by the way. In case you weren't aware."

Remus stopped scrubbing the plate he'd been holding, both hands still submerged in the soapy water. "Excuse me?"

"Tonks, that is. I dunno, maybe Hestia does too, honestly, the way she was giggling at you over dinner, though I guess Hestia giggles at everyone, doesn't she?" Remus kept his back turned to Sirius, and he heard a splash of liquid as he poured himself a drink. "Firewhiskey, Moony?"

"I - er, I'm alright, thanks. I'll likely turn in once I'm done cleaning up." Remus resumed soaping up the dish in his hands, albeit a lot slower now. He heard a clink of glass as Sirius stoppered the decanter, but he didn't turn around just yet. He was still processing the words Sirius had said, and he didn't want his friend to see his face while he did so. He could feel his ears reddening, and he was sure that was incriminating enough. "What - what on earth do you mean?"

"Last I checked you speak English, yeah?" Remus sighed, drying the plate and setting it on the drainboard before turning around, carefully schooling his features into a neutral expression as he met Sirius' smug gaze. "Tonks wants to shag you. Not quite sure there's any hidden meaning there."

"That's - don't say that."

"What do you mean, don't say that? Did you _see_ the way she was staring at you all meeting? I thought she was going to burst into flames every time you spoke. Anyway, don't be a clod, I know you fancy her. This is _good_ news, don't look at me like I've just thrown up on your shoes."

Remus closed his eyes, leaning back against the counter heavily. "I do not -"

"Oh, come off it," Sirius replied. "Don't you dare tell me you don't fancy her. I've seen the way you look at her, I've noticed you two staying up together after I've gone to bed to 'chat.' It's bloody obvious, mate. And she's gagging for you, so why don't you go up there, see if she's still awake, and -"

"That's enough, Sirius," Remus managed through gritted teeth. "There's not - I'm not - don't be ridiculous. I don't fancy her. And she certainly does _not_ want to - erm - to do...whatever you think you noticed, you didn't. It's not there." But Remus could tell from the smug grin on Sirius' face that it was too late; his reaction had given it away.

"Whatever you say," he replied nonchalantly, taking a swig of his whiskey.

Remus excused himself to bed, trying to ignore that shit-eating grin of his old friend as he positively fled from the kitchen and up to his room. He also tried to ignore the thoughts that were flooding his mind now after Sirius' revelation.

Tonks couldn't - there was no way she'd actually be interested in _him_ , was there? He _had_ noticed that she'd been touching him a lot more often as of late; nothing of note, just a hand on the arm here, a knee brushing against his there. All very innocent, small touches - but touches he nonetheless noticed because most people went out of their way _not_ to touch him, while it sometimes almost seemed as if Tonks were doing it on purpose. But that was just how she was; she was so friendly to everybody.

And then there was the way she'd been more prone to getting flustered lately. He'd never thought of her as one to blush; whenever he helped her up from the floor after a trip and a fall, she would laugh it off, spouting off some joke about her two left feet while brushing off her robes. And so it'd been notable that one of the last times she'd tripped, as he'd helped her up, she'd blushed and averted his gaze as she mumbled a quick thank you, her hands resting on his forearms for just a second longer before she'd stumbled backwards so quickly he thought he'd have to attempt to catch her again.

None of it mattered, anyway. He hated to admit that Sirius was right, and that he supposed he did fancy her; how could he not? She was kind, funny, whip-smart, colorful, beautiful. But he'd been doing his best to suppress those feelings lately, as nothing good would come of Tonks figuring out that her 35-year-old werewolf colleague-come-friend was lusting after her. It was always harder at night, however; laying alone in his bed, his mind occasionally wandered off and he would catch himself thinking about what it would feel like to kiss her, to run his hands over her curves and to hear her softly sigh his name in response, before he would immediately and firmly try thinking of literally anything else before that train of thought went too far. Thinking of Severus sneering at him usually did the trick, truth-be-told.

Remus interrupted his own musings as he reached the landing, quietly opening his door and slipping into his room to get ready for bed and trying not think about the fact that Tonks was in the room next to him. He'd only just laid down, extinguishing the light, when he suddenly heard what sounded like a moan as he tried to get comfortable against the pillows.

He froze. That couldn't have actually been what it sounded like, could it? Maybe it was the ghoul in the upstairs toilet banging around again. But then he heard it _again_. Definitely a moan, this time, and clearly coming from the room next to him.

He felt his pulse quicken as he heard a clatter on the other side of the wall - the sound of a wand being dropped? But then -

 _Oh, Merlin_.

When he and Sirius had begun preparing the house to host the Order, they'd made many, many discoveries - mostly unpleasant - about the home in which Sirius had grown up. One of which was the fact that not all of the rooms were quite as susceptible to certain charms as they should be. Walburga's desire for total control, Sirius had explained drily, when they found that privacy charms, for example, were spotty - at best - when cast on certain rooms. Not an issue they had really foreseen ever being a real problem, however. And it also wasn't too much of an issue that half the rooms in the house were still semi-uninhabitable and while they attempted to make them slightly less ominous, Tonks had taken the room directly next to his whenever she crashed for the night.

All of this was now most definitely a problem, as Remus was almost certain that Tonks was pleasuring herself on the other side of the wall and he could basically hear it.

He froze for only a moment, before he instantaneously felt a knot of arousal materialize deep in his belly. He reached frantically for a pillow, clamping it over his face in order to dampen the sounds. _Don't listen. Do NOT listen._ He tried to ignore how quickly he had become hard. This wouldn't do to listen to his friend - his best mate's _younger cousin_ \- masturbating late at night when she thought she had privacy.

That last thought inspired a sudden idea in Remus' brain. "You're a wizard, you idiot," he muttered to himself, throwing the pillow aside and reaching for his own wand and casting a muffling charm. He laid back against the pillows, ears straining as he tried to determine whether or not the charm held. He exhaled in relief for only a second before he realized that the charm had not, in fact, held. Groaning softly, he pulled the pillow back over his face, trying again to ignore his rather painful erection. He felt his face flush in equal parts arousal and shame as unbidden images began to pop into his mind.

Tonks, breathless and sprawled in his bed, sheets tangled around her bare legs. Tonks, those same bare legs wrapped around his waist, tangling her hands in his hair and writhing beneath him as he - _no_. He swallowed, frantically trying to push these images out of his mind. He scrambled to sit up against the headboard as he debated what to do. He couldn't very well knock, could he? Then she'd know he'd been listening. Not that he was listening on purpose - he really was doing his very best not to listen, but it was just so difficult as her moans were getting slightly louder and it was becoming harder and harder not to imagine in graphic detail exactly what was happening maybe fifteen feet from him at this very moment.

He slumped back down, pulling the pillow against his face yet again, as if it were going to magically become more useful the third time around. Despite his best efforts, another brief image of Tonks flashed through his mind; in his bed again, moaning, her head thrown back in pleasure, gripping the headboard tightly as she sat on his face.

His cock gave a particularly painful throb, and he sat up abruptly. He couldn't stay in this room. But it was late, he wasn't sure which of the other rooms on this floor were suitable for sleeping, and there was no way he was going to head up to the third floor and risk waking Sirius.

He scrubbed a hand over his face, then noticed his towel hanging on a hook near the door. He'd take a shower, and hopefully she'd be done and asleep and all would be quiet when he got out. He bundled the towel in front of him as he quickly crossed the hallway to the bathroom, for god forbid Sirius or Tonks herself find themselves in the hallway and notice the very obvious tenting in his boxers.

He stepped into the shower, inhaling sharply as the cold water hit him. But under the stream of the water, he was finally able to relax a bit. He wrapped his arms around his middle, shivering slightly as he waited for the cold water to do the trick. Finally, his erection began to subside, and he turned the heat of the water up a bit, sighing in relief as it pounded against his sore back. He wasn't sure if it made him feel slightly better or worse when he acknowledged that the full moon was in five days, as his senses - and hormones - were generally slightly heightened around this time.

He took his time scrubbing shampoo through his hair and lathering his body with soap, praying that Tonks would be done with her - er - activity and asleep by the time he'd returned to his bed. He nearly dropped his towel, however, when he stepped into the hallway only to find himself face-to-face with a very startled looking Tonks, frozen steps from the bathroom door while clutching a fluffy turquoise towel.

"Tonks?" he managed. She looked at him with wide eyes, and he desperately tried not to notice how scant her sleepwear was. He felt his face heat up immediately. "Erm - I'm so sorry, I was just -"

"No, don't - don't apologize, I was just - sorry, I couldn't sleep and I just fancied a shower, so I thought...I didn't think anyone else would still be up." Her pink hair was tousled, face flushed. Her eyes flickered downwards, and he suddenly felt extremely exposed as he thought about the scars that crossed his torso. He was particularly self-conscious of the large one on his left side, in the vague shape of a werewolf's maw. He shifted awkwardly, trying to subtly obscure the bite mark with his arm while also trying to ensure he did not drop his towel because Merlin knows that's exactly what he would need right now.

He smiled awkwardly. "My - hot showers help when my back is sore, sometimes. I couldn't sleep either."

"Oh, right. Because of the - because of the - right," she replied, nodding furiously. He winced slightly; as if it weren't bad enough that he was standing in front of her nearly naked, his thin, scarred body on display, he had to remind her of what he was.

He inhaled deeply, pulling his towel tighter around his waist again. "Anyway, I'll get out of your way -"

"I'm - I hope your back feels better," she said, meeting his gaze straight-on again. "And I hope you can get some sleep, you deserve it."

He felt himself smiling as he took the remaining few steps to his door, pushing it open carefully. "Thanks, Tonks. Enjoy your shower, and sleep well."

As soon as he was alone again in his room, he groaned quietly. Not only was that perhaps the most awkward and embarrassing encounter he'd had with Tonks - or anyone in the Order, really - to date, but all the progress he'd made in the shower was now lost. While he'd managed to mostly keep himself from looking anywhere but her face during their conversation, apparently his mind had subconsciously taken detailed notes of the way her hardened nipples were visible through the thin material of her silky camisole. And now he was picturing her in the shower, water running down between her breasts as she lathered herself in soap.

He was hard again. _You pervert_ , he admonished himself. He toweled his hair, then came to a conclusion as he hung his towel back up. He could try to suppress his thoughts again and just try to go to sleep, which would likely only lead to some embarrassing dreams and further frustration tomorrow. Or - and his face burned with shame, but he couldn't deny the flicker of pleasure he felt in his stomach at the thought - or he could indulge himself these thoughts, have a quick wank of his own, and be done with it.

He laid back down in his bed, closing his eyes as he laid back against the pillow. He ran a hand slowly down his stomach, trying to ignore the squirm of shame he felt when his left hand reached his erection. _Just make this quick,_ he thought to himself. He wrapped his hand around his cock, breath hitching at the sensation and at how much precum he felt when his thumb brushed against the sensitive head. He started stroking himself, allowing his mind to wander freely now as his cock throbbed in his hand.

He tried to imagine it was her hand instead of his that was jerking him off right now. He imagined kissing her fiercely, their tongues sliding together while she tugged on his cock with one of her small hands.

He wondered what she'd be like in bed, if she'd be vocal. He'd certainly heard her make noise while touching herself, so it was fairly safe to assume that she'd make at least some noise while having sex. He wondered what kind of sounds she'd make as he kissed his way down her breasts, taking her taut nipples into his mouth and flicking them with his tongue before continuing his way down her body. He wondered if she'd let him eat her out, if she'd pull on his hair while he did so, if she'd clamp her thighs around his head while he pleasured her with his mouth.

He stifled a groan as his hand picked up speed on his cock. Now he was imagining fucking her; he knew she deserved to be taken slowly and gently, but his fantasies were beyond his control at this point. He pictured her flat on her back in his bed, arms thrown above her head and legs propped up on his shoulders, breasts bouncing as he thrust into her again and again, his hips smacking against her ass. Maybe she'd tell him to fuck her harder, faster; maybe, even more appealingly, she'd be moaning his name. He hoped he'd be able to make her come; he thought of gently reaching down to circle that little bundle of nerves with his fingers while he was still buried inside her, of watching her face as her muscles tensed and twitched around him and he felt her orgasm on his cock.

He was close now; he was panting and sweaty and he barely had the awareness to feel embarrassed of his lewd thoughts as he felt the muscles in his thighs tense, his hand jerking his cock so hard it was almost painful as his other hand tightly gripped the sheets. He squeezed his eyes shut and clamped the hand that had been twisted in the sheets over his mouth to hold back a groan as he finally came in spurts over his hand and stomach, his hips jerking upwards to thrust involuntarily into his hand as he came. His hand finally slowed its movements, his breathing slowing as well as his erection softened and the post-orgasm clarity and accompanying bloom of shame slowly started to return to his mind. Tonks would probably be horrified if she knew the thoughts he'd been having about her. He sighed as he reached for his wand, neatly clearing up the mess he'd made before he pulled his boxers and sleep shirt back on and slipped back into bed.

Laying against the pillows now and staring up at the ceiling, Remus realized that his wank had done absolutely nothing to get any of his thoughts or feelings about the witch in the next room over out of his head. Quite the opposite, in fact. It was bad enough that he fancied her, that he cared about her in _that_ way; now, once he had pictured her naked and in compromising positions, he couldn't _stop_ picturing her naked and in compromising positions.

_Merlin, I'm fucked._


	3. Chapter 3

Some time had passed since the night Remus referred to in his mind simply as "the incident." To his immense relief, though Tonks had stayed the night several times since then, no further incidents had occurred. He knew he should tell her at some point, but frankly, the thought of having that conversation terrified him for a million and one reasons and he decided to just keep pushing it aside until it became a problem again in favor of simply enjoying her company and their increasingly close friendship.

Indeed, his guilt and shame over "the incident" were not Remus' only problem when it came to Tonks. Sirius' increasingly frequent hints and allusions to the fact that the Auror may be harboring a crush on the Order's resident werewolf were extremely irritating at first; Remus brushed them off and changed the subject whenever Sirius tried to bring it up, as he was sure that there was no way in hell _he_ could actually be the object of her affections. But once he started to pay closer attention, he wondered if Sirius' words held some truth. She _had_ started to stay over more frequently; he'd thought she came over mostly for Sirius, but even on the days when Sirius was holed up in the attic with Buckbeak, she'd stay in the kitchen or the library with him long into the night, challenging him to a game of chess or simply talking with him for hours on end in front of the fire. And this was in addition to all of their missions together; more often than not, they were paired together as partners for the vast majority of their Order duties, and she would beam at him whenever their names were read out together from the roster by Moody at the meetings.

Then there was that time when they'd been sitting in the drawing room - just the two of them, again, alone somehow - sharing tea and some of Molly's scones. He'd nearly jumped out of his skin when she suddenly reached a hand up to his face, her thumb brushing his lips. "Jam," she'd said simply, smiling at him as she brushed the offending condiment from the corner of his mouth - and though she was smiling, there was something else in her eyes as she looked at him, her hand lingering just a little too long on the side of his face before she brought her thumb to her own lips and licked off the jam, boldly holding his gaze the entire time. Of course, this was far too much for him to handle, and he was fairly sure he'd mucked that all up when he'd suddenly ducked his head, cheeks blazing, with some mumbled joke about 'wolfing down his food' and table manners.

And then, of course, there was the fact that Sirius had straight out told him that Tonks had approached him on how best to let Remus know she was interested, but he never quite fully trusted anything Sirius said on the topic at this point, so he'd decided to simply ignore this development. He had to admit he was a tad bit insulted when Sirius had called him the "absolute stupidest smart man" he knew after one of these conversations, but still; better to be safe than sorry.

And so, his dilemma. He felt as if he'd spent hours at this point trying to figure out what he should do; should he ask her to dinner? Should he just tell her he fancied her, and let her take the lead from there? He felt maybe this was his best course of action; though a part of his brain was fairly certain she fancied him back, the other, louder part told him that there was no way she was seriously interested in a 35-year-old werewolf. Yet, the possibility that she _could_ be, no matter how far-fetched, was appealing; and he managed to drown out this more bitter, discouraging part of his brain whenever she stumbled into headquarters, particularly whenever she was wearing a tshirt that bared her midriff. Lately, as the weather cooled, she'd been wearing jumpers that bared her midriff; he didn't quite understand it, as he'd always thought jumpers were meant to keep you warm, and so didn't it rather defeat the purpose if the jumper left several inches of your stomach bare to the air? Yet he couldn't really find it in him to mind. Especially when she was sat across the table from him at Order meetings and decided to stretch, arms all the way in the air and her jumper riding dangerously high to reveal a generous expanse of her toned stomach. If he didn't know any better he'd say she'd started doing that on purpose.

Thankfully, the past few days had been full of impending holiday cheer, ridiculously offensive Christmas decorations courtesy of Sirius, and an endless parade of Weasleys marching through the house, so he'd had a welcome distraction from his endless self-imposed torment. Until today, that is.

"Wotcher, Remus!"

Remus looked up from the book he was reading in front of the fire in the study when he heard the door open. Tonks stumbled into the room, throwing her bag to the side and quickly shrugging off her Auror robes to join it on the ground. He swallowed hard; he thought she looked lovely no matter what she was wearing, but he had to admit that the tight green plaid skirt she was sporting - which clashed horribly with her pink hair - was particularly fetching.

"Hi, Tonks. You look - er - " She grinned at him, and he felt a familiar heat rising in his cheeks. "You look really nice."

"Thanks, Remus, you don't look so bad yourself. Why are you up here? Where is everyone?"

His brows knit together in confusion as he slowly marked his place in his book. "What do you mean, where is everyone? It's only Sirius and I here right now, I'm afraid. You did miss Molly, but she took the children to visit Arthur, and then I think they were going to do some Christmas shopping."

Now it was her turn to look confused. "But the Christmas party is...not tonight, is it?" She closed her eyes, throwing her head back in frustration. "Right. Did someone mention that at the last meeting and I wasn't paying attention?"

He tried to stifle a laugh. "It was mentioned at the last meeting that we were moving it, and I believe that Kingsley said he would remind you to change your calendar as well."

"Well, he didn't, the git. And _you -_ " she said suddenly, pointing an accusing finger in his direction as she made her way over to the sofa, plopping down beside him. "Why didn't _you_ remind me?"

"I believe I did, Nymphadora," he replied teasingly. "When we were on duty the other night, if I recall correctly, I _did_ mention that it had been -"

"Alright, alright, whatever." She blew her fringe out of her face, rolling her eyes skyward. "You're right, I'm a mess. It's tomorrow, isn't it?"

"It is, indeed." He tried not to think too hard about the fact that he could smell her perfume now; vanilla with lavender. It made him want to sit even closer to her, but he didn't dare.

"Right. Well, I s'pose it's good I did this with the party and not a meeting, else Mad-Eye would have killed me and then the Order'd be one member down."

"If Alastor had his way, there wouldn't even _be_ a Christmas party for you to miss."

Tonks snorted. "Right, because god forbid we take more than two minutes to stop thinking about war and death and just have a bit of bloody fun for once. I swear, someone needs to explain the meaning of the word 'morale' to that man." She stretched her legs out in front of her, toeing off her combat boots. Remus tried extremely hard not to think about how nice her legs looked in her tights. _Pull it together, you old fool._ "Are you in the mood for a drink, Remus? I happen to know that there's a rather large stockpile of booze downstairs, and I don't want my festive outfit to go to waste, you know." She was grinning in him again, and he felt suddenly as if his collar was too tight.

"Erm - yes, that would be nice. Sirius is upstairs with Buckbeak, I believe, if you'd like me to get him as well -?"

She waved a hand. "Nah, he'll come down when he's ready. We've got all night. Unless - sorry, I wasn't interrupting anything, was I?" She suddenly looked almost self-conscious as she eyed the book that was in his hand.

He set it down on the table, smiling at her. "You're never interrupting anything, Tonks."

"I'm not so sure about that, you're just far too nice." She was smiling back at him again, a faint blush staining her cheeks. "Anyway, I had a _day_ at work, and I've got off tomorrow, so I'm ready to get absolutely plastered. D'you suppose it's alright if I stay the night again?" He felt his stomach drop. "Nearly splinched myself apparating home last Thursday after Sirius convinced me to have that 'one last whiskey' that I somehow magically could never reach the bottom on. Should've known better than to let him fix a drink for me, he definitely charmed my glass to constantly refill."

"A classic mistake," Remus reassured her rather hoarsely.

"Anyway, I know it's a bit of a full house right now, but it's just easier if I crash here like I usually do when I'm drinking with you two weirdos."

He swallowed. "Oh - yes, but I - we might have to find you a new room."

"What? Why?"

"Er -" he cleared his throat nervously. "There were - I think I heard some doxies in the one you usually sleep in. The room next to mine, I mean. Last night."

She shrugged. "Well, I'll handle those before I go to sleep then. Better to nip it in the bud than to let it become a whole other infestation, don't you think?"

He felt himself start to panic. "Well, that's not the only - er - that room may not be open, actually. I mean, with all the people staying in the house for the holidays, that is."

She frowned at him. "Molly told me that all the kids are staying on the third floor, and that she was specifically leaving that room open for me because I could 'do with more naps.'" She rolled her eyes fondly as she spoke of the Weasley matriarch's overbearing motherly tendencies. "She told me so because I'd asked if she needed me to clear some of the clothes and things I've left in the wardrobe in that room."

"Right. Erm...okay." He nodded. She was still peering at him suspiciously.

"Remus, what's wrong with you? Why is it suddenly a huge issue that I sleep there? I mean, if my snoring is too loud and you can hear me from your room, just say the word and I'll cast a silencing charm," she joked.

"Silencing charms don't work in your room," he blurted.

"What? How do you know that?" She looked confused for a second, then suddenly her eyes widened and she clapped her hands to her mouth. " _Oh_."

"Erm..." He tried to avoid her gaze as her face flushed scarlet, certain that his matched hers in hue.

She lowered her hands slightly. "Oh. _Merlin_. So you mean to tell me...you can...hear me in my room?"

He squirmed. "I mean, it's not as if I can hear _everything_ , but, er. Yes. I hear...erm...enough."

"Okay. So that...so that night I ran into you when you were coming out of the shower, you..." she winced. "Oh, _no._ "

"I promise I wasn't listening," he said hastily. "I mean, _yes_ , I heard enough to know that - to know that perhaps you had - well, it seemed like the type of thing you would cast a privacy charm for, and considering I could hear you, I knew that - well, that's why I went to take a shower." Her eyes widened further, and he felt his panic rise. " _No!_ Not like that!" he added desperately. "I wasn't - I wasn't doing anything, umm, in the shower. I mean, I was washing myself, but that's - that's it. Just normal shower - er - things. Soap and such." _Jesus christ._ "And I really did have a sore back, I wasn't lying when I told you that. I just - I just wanted to give you your privacy, is all." While he wasn't sure he had ever anticipated this conversation going quite well whenever he got around to it, he had to admit that this was really going particularly terribly. _So much for asking her to dinner_ , he thought bitterly. Now she would certainly think he was nothing but a weird pervert - he wouldn't be surprised if she asked Moody to change all of their assignments together. _Very suave, Lupin. Everyone knows the best way to get the witch you fancy to return your feelings is to let her know that you've heard her masturbate and follow that up with a reassurance that you use soap in the shower._

She was still staring at him, slowly lowering her hands from her face. Though her cheeks were still pink, something unexpected happened. She smiled. "You're rather adorable when you're all flustered."

"I - oh." His bemusement must have shown on his face, because she laughed now as she shifted closer to him on the sofa. He swallowed, finally managing to make eye contact with her, and all he could think about was how dark her eyelashes looked. She'd done some sort of nice smudgy thing with her makeup that made her eyes look even more alluring than usual, and he had to quickly look away again.

"Seeing as I don't think I can possibly experience any further embarrassment in this particular moment, I guess now's as good a time as any to come out with it and say that I'm very attracted to you, you know." She brought one of her hands to rest gently on his knee, and he thought his heart had just about stopped. "I think you've likely figured that out on your own by now, but I thought maybe you needed to hear it said out loud. That's what Sirius thinks, anyway. I told him I've been dropping hints, but he said you wouldn't know a hint about this sort of thing if it bit you in the arse."

"Oh," he repeated stupidly.

She was sitting _very_ close to him now, and he felt all coherent thought flee his brain when she reached out, gently cupping his cheek with a soft hand. She was looking at him intently.

"I'm going to kiss you now."

And then she did. Her lips were soft and warm. He was so stunned that he barely reacted before she pulled back, looking panicked. "Fuck, sorry if that was - er -"

He suddenly came to his senses, his brain finally catching up to what was happening as he also became aware of the acute loss of her lips on his. "No, wait - I'm sorry," he replied quickly. "I'm just - er - right." She arched an eyebrow at him. "I - let's try that again, shall we?" He barely gave her a chance to respond before leaning forward and taking her face in his hands to press his lips back against hers. She sighed against his mouth, and then he felt her lips part slightly, inviting him to deepen the kiss. She tangled her fingers in his hair, their tongues sliding together as her lips moved hungrily against his. He still couldn't quite believe that not ten minutes earlier, he was trying to decide whether or not he could work up the courage to even ask her to dinner, and now she was snogging him senseless on the sofa.

"I've been wanting to do this for ages, you know," she mumbled against his mouth. Another mind-blowing tidbit - a beautiful witch fantasizing about kissing _him_ for ages?

"Tonks - I - so you're not mad I - I heard you -"

She pulled away slightly; her lips were pink and slightly swollen, and Remus couldn't help but look at her mouth as she smiled even though he knew he really should be looking at her eyes instead. "I'm not mad, of course not. I mean, it's a bit embarrassing, isn't it? But..." she shrugged. "Do you want to know what I was thinking about?"

He felt his mouth suddenly go dry. "What?"

She gave him a devilish grin. "This." Suddenly, she was pulling on the front of his jumper as she lay back on the sofa, and he found himself on top of her, looking down into her face as he propped himself up on his elbows. She pulled his face down towards hers, kissing him again, more fiercely this time. He couldn't help but groan quietly when she suddenly hooked a leg around his waist and he found his hips pressed against hers. Suddenly, embarrassingly, he realized he was hard, and in their current position there was no way she wouldn't notice.

"Oh, god, sorry -" He made to shift his weight off of her.

"Wait," she said huskily, "why do you think I wanted you on top of me? Are you comfortable with this?" He noticed that if anything, her leg around his waist tightened, and he had to close his eyes for a moment as the friction between them went straight to his groin. "Only if you're comfortable with this," she repeated, more gently this time. He managed to open his eyes, and as he looked down at her, he still couldn't quite believe the way she was looking at him, as if he were the only thing that existed in this room with her right now. She smiled slightly. "You look a bit gobsmacked, are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry, I just -" he let out a small laugh of disbelief. "You're so - you're so great, and I'm just...I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you'd want to -"

"Stop thinking so hard, you're going to hurt yourself. There's nothing to wrap your mind around, you're quite fanciable," she replied matter-of-factly. "Now kiss me." And with a small grin, he obliged.

Dimly, as they kissed again, Remus had the thought that he should make sure the door was locked; it wouldn't do to have Sirius interrupt (he'd never hear the end of it), or one of the Weasleys coming back from the shops only to walk in on their former professor laying on top of a fellow Order member. Kissing Tonks, however, was somehow commanding all of his attention, especially once she started doing something rather spectacular with her tongue on his bottom lip.

He shifted so that he could run one hand gently up her side; she gave a small shiver, and so he did it again, this time allowing his fingers to brush the soft swell of her breast underneath her tight black knit top. She moaned into his mouth, arching up against him; he still couldn't quite believe that she was so affected by _his_ touch. "Please touch me," she breathed against his lips. "I want you so badly, Remus." He started to gently kiss his way down her neck, marveling at the noises she was making and the way she tugged on his hair when he ran his hand down her side again, this time skimming his hand softly over the curve of her hip to her thigh.

He pulled back slightly. "I must admit this is not the reaction I'd have expected to my earlier revelation," he replied, arching an eyebrow.

"Mmm. Doesn't seem like you're too unhappy with it, though."

"Oh, I never said I was unhappy with it. Quite the opposite, in fact, considering the fact that I've been agonizing for weeks over how best to ask you to dinner." She gave a small hum of delight that sent warmth straight to his stomach. "It's just that I am surprised that not only did I not even work up the courage to do _that_ properly, but I've properly embarrassed you, and you still want to kiss me. That's all."

The sound of her laugh made his stomach flip. "Well, I do. And I want to do more than kiss you, you know." She suddenly gave him a rather devilish grin, biting her lip as one of her hands slowly slid between them until she reached his belt buckle. "Is this okay?"

"Oh - yes," he managed. His eyes fluttered closed as she undid his belt buck and zipper, and he bit back a gasp as she slipped her hand into his boxers and wrapped it around his cock.

"I really was thinking of you, by the way," she purred into his ear, nipping gently at his earlobe as she gave him a few strokes. "When you heard me. I was imagining this. Do you think of me when you do this?"

He could barely form a coherent word with her hand still around his cock. "Y - yes," he gasped. She pressed her mouth to his again in another hot, open-mouthed kiss that only lasted for a few far-too-short seconds before she pulled back again.

"Do silencing charms work on _your_ room?"

He stared at her for a second, then in an instant they were both standing, him buttoning back up his fly, her straightening out her skirt. He had never gone up a set of stairs so fast in his life.

* * *

As soon as Remus had shut and locked the door to his room, Tonks launched herself at him again, kissing him fervently. She still couldn't believe this was happening. She couldn't remember the last time she was so painfully and instantaneously aroused from a first kiss; she figured it had something to do with the fact that she'd finally worked it out that there were some feelings involved in what she'd foolishly thought were simply sexual fantasies at first. After she'd first become aware of her attraction to Remus, she'd become slightly baffled as time had worn on and the attraction had only gotten stronger. It's not that he wasn't attractive; he _was_ , he just wasn't her usual type. She'd never in her wildest dreams thought she'd have such vivid, aching sexual fantasies about someone who wore sweater vests with as alarming frequency as he did. He was attractive in a rather unassuming way, but the more she'd gotten to know him, the closer they'd become, the more gorgeous she thought he was. And so she'd had the realization fairly soon after _that_ night that she indeed had a crush, because Remus was all around a rather lovely person, and she had started to suspect shortly after that perhaps her feelings were reciprocated - but now, she supposed, she was spared any further deliberation on what to do about this, as none of the blatant hints she'd been dropping that she was interested in him had gotten her anywhere, but apparently all it took was her wearing her favorite skirt and mixing up party dates.

And it was about time. If anything, as soon as Tonks had become aware of the fact that she fancied him, she couldn't stop thinking about him like this. It was getting to be quite distracting, the amount of time she spent fantasizing about him rather embarrassing. They could be partaking in something as innocuous as playing a game of chess together in the drawing room, but if her eyes wandered to the desk in the corner, suddenly she'd be thinking about him bending her over the desk, nudging her legs apart and pulling her hair while fucking her from behind. Another night, as she and Remus had been having drinks with Sirius in the library, he'd stretched his legs out in front of him on the couch, and she'd noticed how really lanky he was. Then all she could think about was dropping to her knees between his long legs and sucking him off. When it came to oral sex, she'd generally always preferred going down on women; it was softer, and had somehow always felt slightly more intimate to her. But once the thought popped into her mind of sucking Remus' cock, of feeling his hands gently tangled in her hair, of looking up into his eyes and watching his face as he came in her mouth, it was nearly all she could think about whenever she saw him.

And now, she was in his dimly lit bedroom, being kissed more desperately by him than anyone she'd been kissed by in a very long time. She was relieved that he'd seen to have more than overcome his initial slight hesitation; she didn't want to push him further than he was comfortable with, but she wanted him to truly realize how into him she actually was, and she was also fairly certain she'd die of frustration if they didn't actually shag tonight after the way he'd been kissing her and touching her on the couch in the study.

She suddenly felt her backside hit a hard surface, and realized that Remus had backed her up against the desk. She didn't think it possible to become even more aroused than she already was, but she felt the heat between her legs intensify as he slowly sank to his knees in front of her, placing his hands on her legs and gently running them up her thighs. "May I?" he asked. "Oh, wait - we should cast that silencing charm," he added rather sheepishly.

"We should, because I've been told by a certain resident of this house that I can be a bit loud," she replied, winking at him as he flushed. He fumbled in his pocket for his wand, casting the charm quickly before shoving his wand back in his pocket.

"Can I -"

"Yes, yes, please do," she said quickly, gripping onto the desk for balance as he pulled down the tights she was wearing under her skirt and nearly kneeing him in the face in the process. It was a wonder this man still wanted to sleep with her, the Order's walking disaster in residence, but it didn't seem as if he minded in the slightest as he began to press soft, wet kisses up the inside of her right thigh. She leaned against the edge of the desk as he slowly pushed her skirt up, shuffling forward on his knees until his face was nearly between her thighs. She returned his gaze eagerly as he looked up at her once more. His fingers brushed the center of her knickers, and she let out an embarrassingly breathy moan, her eyes fluttering shut.

"You're so wet already," he breathed.

"I told you I've wanted you for awhile," she replied. She felt his fingers gently hook into the waistband of her knickers, and then he was tugging them down her legs.

"Very nice," he murmured, taking a moment to smile up at her as he set aside the black lacy garment. She blushed, and was momentarily taken aback by the thought that even though his face was quite literally between her thighs right now, she was too embarrassed to tell him that yes, she _had_ purposefully worn nice undergarments in the hopes of - what? This happening? Sure, she'd been hoping this would happen for a couple of months now, but she was still rather shocked that they were actually here.

Her embarrassment fled as quickly as it had appeared, however, when Remus suddenly pressed gently on one of her legs, hooking it over his shoulder as he leaned in, his lips grazing the inside of her thigh.

"Is this okay? Can I -"

"Yes, Remus," she replied. " _Please_." His mouth was so close that she could feel his breath, warm on her center, and then suddenly - "Oh, _fuck_."

The feeling of his face between her thighs, tongue circling her clit, was even better than she had imagined. Her back arched, and her right hand immediately flew to the back of his head, tangling her fingers in his greying hair to hold his face there. "Oh fuck, _yes_. Keep doing that." He groaned against her, and the vibrations made her toes clench.

She reached her other hand back to steady herself on the desk, her hips thrusting forward as he continued to work her over with his tongue. He reached one hand up to her hip, holding her down, the other hand remaining on her other knee, pushing her legs even wider apart to gain better access. She had a brief moment of gratitude for that silencing charm now, and prayed that it would hold in his room, as she was barely aware of how loudly she was moaning now.

Her breath hitched in her throat as his tongue began to firmly stroke her clit. "I'm close," she managed to choke out, a growing warmth pooling in her belly. He picked up the pace with his tongue, but stopped immediately when she suddenly pushed on his head. He pulled back, wiping at his mouth and looking up at her in concern.

"I'm sorry -"

"Don't apologize," she said throatily. "I want you to fuck me. I want to come while you're inside me."

He groaned again, and she slid off the desk, reaching down to pull him back to his feet. She quickly tugged his jumper over his head, then set to hastily unbuttoning his shirt while he tried to work out the zip on the back of her skirt. His hands suddenly abandoned her skirt, reaching to grasp hers before she could undo the last buttons on his shirt.

"Tonks, I - I'm not - I'm not quite -"

"Hey, it's okay," she said gently. "You're not quite what?"

"I don't know, perhaps not quite what you'd like to see when you take someone's shirt off," he muttered, suddenly avoiding her eyes. She felt her heart drop slightly as his shoulders tensed in that way she'd noticed they always did when he was self-conscious about something.

"I've already seen you shirtless, Remus, remember? And you were probably too embarrassed to notice, but I was indeed checking you out that time I ran into you once you'd gotten out of the shower." She reached up to turn his face towards her, and he finally met her eyes. "I want you to feel comfortable, okay? But I am _very_ attracted to you, if that wasn't already clear. I also..." She reached for the hem of her own shirt, pulling it over her head. She was pleased to see Remus' eyes widen slightly as he took in the sight of her purple lace bra, and he swallowed as she reached behind her back to unclasp it. "...I'd like to feel your skin on mine." She shrugged her bra off, letting it fall to the floor as she leaned up to kiss him again, softer this time. He lifted a hand to gently cup one of her breasts, skimming his thumb over her nipple as she made a noise of encouragement. She arched into his touch before gently breaking off the kiss, reaching down to the last buttons of his shirt. "Is this alright?" He nodded now, and she undid the last two buttons before running her hands back up his body to push his shirt off his shoulders. She immediately kissed him again, and he let out a small sigh as she slid her arms around his neck, pressing her entire body against his.

She pushed him back until the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed, kissing her way down his throat, down his chest, across his scars; she gently pressed on his shoulders until he was sitting on the bed, sinking to her knees between his legs once she reached the tantalizing trail of hair that started at his navel and disappeared somewhere below his trousers. She reached up to undo his belt buckle.

He suddenly realized what she meant to do. "Oh, Tonks, you don't have to -"

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. Is this okay?" she asked. He nodded, lifting his hips enough for her to slide his trousers down to his ankles. She smiled up at him as she ran a hand over his erection; she could feel how hard he was even through his boxers, and she felt a small shiver of pleasure at the way his eyes fluttered closed and he inhaled sharply when she touched him. She leaned forward, mirroring his movements between her own thighs earlier, and gently skimmed her lips over his covered erection. His hips jerked slightly, and she looked up to see that his eyes had flown open again. She slowly reached up to hook her fingers underneath the elastic of his boxers, holding his gaze the entire time so that she'd know if he needed to stop. But he simply nodded, his eyes dark with desire as he lifted his hips slightly again so that she could tug his boxers down his leg.

"Tonks," he started again, his voice slightly hoarse, "you don't have to - _oh._ " He broke off as she trailed her tongue down the length of his cock.

"I don't do anything I don't have to, Remus. I only do what I want," she replied; then, looking up and holding his gaze the entire time, she took him into her mouth.

The noise he made when she did so was perhaps the sexiest thing she'd ever heard; she started to enthusiastically suck him off, but stopped nearly as soon as she'd begun when she felt him start to pull back.

"Wait, Tonks -"

"Shit, sorry, was that okay?" she said. "What's wrong?"

"It was more than okay," he reassured her. "It's just -" she could tell that he was blushing now. "It's - er - I should be honest and let you know that it's been awhile for me, since the last time I...erm...since the last time I did this. So I'd rather like to make it count, if you know what I mean."

"If that means you fucking me right now, I'm all for it," she replied. He gave a small laugh, and she could see some of the tension leave his shoulders. "Plus -" she continued as he reached down to gently pull her to her feet, "if all else fails, you can continue what you were doing before, because _that_ was bloody fantastic."

He pulled gently on her hands now, and she lay back on the bed, against his pillows; everything smelled like him, that clean, crisp smell of his soap, and she couldn't help but inhale deeply as he stretched out alongside her, cupping her cheek to kiss her again. He kissed her deeply, and the feeling of his tongue in her mouth, the way he'd slipped one of his hands over her hip to cup her ass, the hardness of his cock pressing against her thigh was all nearly too much. "You're so fucking sexy, you know," she said when he finally pulled away to dollop soft, wet kisses down her throat. He let out what sounded like a small laugh of disbelief against her collarbone, and she was about to chastise him when he continued to kiss his way down her chest, taking one of her nipples in his mouth. She arched up against him, tangling her hand in his hair and holding his head there as he flicked her nipple with his tongue. "Fuck," she hissed. " _Fuck_ \- please, Remus, I need you inside me."

"Mmm," he hummed against her skin. She could feel him smiling. "Impatient."

"Yes, very impatient," she huffed. "Now hurry up and -"

He cupped his hand between her legs, muttering the contraceptive charm. She couldn't help but grin as she arched her hips slightly to push against his hand. "Very smooth, Lupin. Wandless charm?"

He looked sheepish. "I'll admit I don't - er - it's not a charm I use often, by any means, but -"

"Stop, it's sexy," she replied. He flashed her a grin now, and she was struck again by how lovely he looked when he smiled. She didn't have much time to dwell on this, however, because he suddenly shifted his hips forward slightly, and she felt him brush against her entrance, reminding her of how desperately aroused she was.

"Still okay?" he asked, looking down at her with the slightly dazed expression he'd been wearing since she'd first kissed him on the couch. She nodded, and then he slowly pushed inside of her. They both moaned at the sensation; after giving her a moment to adjust, he started to move slowly, but stopped nearly as suddenly as he had begun as her name tumbled from his lips.

"Ah - sorry, I know you don't like being called that, it's just -"

"You can call me Dora," she replied breathlessly before the thought was even fully formed in her head. She wasn't quite sure why she'd said it; she'd never let any of her past partners call her Dora, especially in bed. But when he repeated it back to her, his voice gravelly with desire, the intimacy of having him call her that was somehow more erotic than she could have imagined it would be, and she moaned as he began to move his hips again.

"You feel so good," she breathed. "Fuck - yes, _harder_ -"

He propped himself up slightly on his elbows to comply with her request, panting slightly as he picked up the pace of his thrusting. She took advantage of the slight space between them to bring her hand down to where they were joined, using her fingers to rub at herself. Remus dropped his face to her shoulder, his breathing becoming more and more ragged as he continued to fuck her. She started to whisper filthy encouragement into his ear, barely aware of what she was even saying.

She felt the tension between them grow as she felt herself approach the brink of her orgasm yet again; she focused on the feeling of his body on top of hers, of his cock inside her, of the way he grunted quietly when she dug the nails of her other hand into his shoulder; and then she was coming, moaning loudly and arching up against him as she felt her muscles clamp around him. He slowed inside her, mouthing at her neck as her breathing started to return to normal.

She placed a gentle hand on his chest and pushed him back; he pulled out of her immediately, starting to stumble over another apology, but she shushed him as she tipped him onto his back. "I want to watch you when you come," she explained, reaching back to take him into her hand and lowering herself back down onto his cock, relishing in the moan he let out as she did.

She'd been told that she was loud during sex; none of her partners had ever seemed to mind. He was a bit quieter, as she'd expected, but she didn't mind either. Quite the opposite, in fact. It gave her an opportunity to see and feel and focus on exactly what her reactions, movements, and words did to him. It was arousing in a subtly intense way. The way his eyes closed and his breathing became slightly uneven again as she started to rock her hips, the way he gasped her name quietly when she pressed her hands against his chest and picked up her pace. His hands tightened on her waist, his breath hitching now as she could tell he was getting close.

"You just gave me the best orgasm I've had in ages, Remus, now I want you to come inside me, yeah? You feel so fucking good, I loved coming with you inside me. I want to watch you come," she panted. His fingers were digging into the skin of her hips almost painfully now, his eyes closed as she continued to fuck him.

"Fuck, Dora, I'm close - I'm going to -" he gasped and his hips jerked as he thrust up into her; she watched him eagerly as his head fell back and he let out a guttural moan as he came.

She leaned forward to lay against his chest, feeling his heartbeat slow as he softened inside her; after several long moments, she finally rolled off of him. His eyes remained closed as his breathing slowed, but he opened them as she leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

"That - that was..." he trailed off, looking at her as if his next words would be entirely dependent on her reaction, which she supposed they would be.

"That was something I'd quite like to do again very soon," she replied, giving him a smile. "I really do like you a lot, Remus."

He grinned in relief. "Me, too." He rolled over so that he was on his side, his fingers hovering near her thigh. "May I?"

"What?"

"I always clean up my messes," he replied seriously. She bit back a small groan; he said it so innocently that she was sure he didn't know the effect he had on her. She really did feel like a hormonal teenager around him sometimes.

"Don't say things like that, or I'll be ready to go again already," she replied. He arched an eyebrow.

"I was merely offering to clean up my - erm - well -"

"Yeah, and it's somehow dead sexy when you say it like that, don't ask me why," she said exasperatedly. He let out a small laugh, still looking slightly bemused as he muttered a freshening charm and then settled back into the pillows. Tonks laid against his side, tangling her legs with his as he wrapped an arm around her.

"Mmm. This is nice," she said drowsily as he traced feather-light circles on her shoulder with a single lazy finger.

"Tonks?"

"Yeah?"

"I seem to have gotten the order of how these things are supposed to go a bit mixed up, but...well - would you like to go to dinner with me sometime?" She fought the urge to roll her eyes at the note of trepidation that had crept back into his voice.

"I just got done saying I'd love to shag you again as soon as possible," she replied, smiling. "Of course I would, Remus." She stifled a yawn now, the warmth of the room and the circles he was still tracing on her back quickly making her drowsy. "First order of business, however, I need a nap now."

"That's quite a good idea."

"I've been known to have them, on occasion," she mumbled into his chest, focusing on listening to his breathing deepen and quickly drifting off into a comfortable slumber.

* * *

Remus awoke suddenly to a knock on the door. Sitting up and reaching for his wand groggily, he groaned once he managed to read the time on his watch.

"What time is it?" Tonks asked sleepily.

"Nearly half-past eight."

"Bollocks, we've slept through dinner. Well, you have; they don't know I'm here." She didn't seem too worried; to the contrary, she wriggled back up against him, pulling the covers up again. "That's okay, I like being right here anyway."

Remus' smile immediately dropped from his face as he heard a knock on the door again. "I was hoping I'd imagined that," he muttered. "Just a moment!"

"It's only me, Moony."

Remus leapt out of bed, scrambling for his clothes. Tonks half-heartedly glanced on the ground next to her side of the bed and, finding none of her own, lazily slid back down between the covers, pulling them up to her chin. "I'll hide under here, the bed's not too visible from the door, yeah?" she whispered.

"Yes, that's fine," he whispered back. He finally managed to pull his trousers and jumper back on, and made his way to the door. When he opened it, Sirius was standing out on the landing, holding a tray heaping with food.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty."

Remus groaned. "What do you want?"

"Well fuck you, too. Molly was concerned when you didn't come down for dinner, so I told her you weren't feeling well, and now she's sent me up here with enough food to feed the Queen's army, let alone one malnourished werewolf. You're now also certain to get first dibs on the food at the party tomorrow, too, so you're welcome." He held the tray out to Remus. "And I daresay there's enough for two here, so you'll be all set."

Remus cleared his throat. "Er - yes, that's more than plenty for - erm - just me, I'll bring any extra downstairs -"

"No need, I'm sure Tonks will finish it off."

"Oh - er - Tonks is here?" Remus tried to ask as casually as possible, struggling to keep his face neutral as Sirius smirked.

"You're a horrible liar, Moony. Anyway, thought I'd bring these up as well -"

Once Remus had taken the tray from him, he bent down to pick something up from the ground beside him; Remus' stomach dropped when he saw it was Tonks' Auror robes, bag, and combat boots.

"Looks like Tonks left them in the drawing room before she disappeared to...well, no one knows quite where she is, do they?" Sirius said lightly. "Anyway, it wouldn't do for one of the Weasleys to stumble upon them and wonder where Tonks has gone off to. Thought I'd bring them up here so whenever you two are finished, she can -"

"I don't - I don't know what you're talking about, I haven't seen Tonks since Tuesday," Remus stammered. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Right. Anyway, you're welcome. You two owe me an explanation, a drink, and at least an hour's worth of your company downstairs once everyone else has gone to sleep. But I'd say you have a few hours left to continue enjoying yourselves."

"I don't - Padfoot, don't be ridiculous -"

"And Moony?"

"What?"

"I think that pattern would look absolutely fetching on you, but the skirt may be a little short."

"Pardon?"

Sirius nodded at something behind him, and Remus turned to realize in horror that Tonks' plaid skirt was draped over his desk chair, clearly visible from the door. "The color's nice, green's always suited you. But I just think you might want to size up a bit for those long legs of yours. See you later, mate." And with a wink and a grin, Sirius was gone again. Remus stood dumbly in the doorway for a moment, holding the tray of food, before turning to set it on the desk and closing the door with a sigh.

As soon as the door was closed, Tonks let out a loud peal of laughter. "So much for being subtle."

"Sirius really has an uncanny knack for figuring out these things straightaway," Remus muttered. But he couldn't really find it in himself to mind as he turned back to see Tonks laying in his bed, her pink hair tousled from sex and sleep. She smiled at him, her eyes twinkling.

"I'm okay with him knowing, saves me from having to come up with a variety of excuses for whenever I want to drag you up here for a shag."

"Indeed, that is a fair point. Plus, don't worry; most of his teasing will be directed towards me, anyhow." He lifted a lid off one of the tureens Sirius had brought up on the tray. "Molly really did send up enough food to feed a hippogriff, I'm not entirely convinced this tray wasn't meant for Buckbeak instead. Are you hungry at all?"

"I could be; though I could use help working up my appetite again?" Remus looked back at Tonks, still laying naked in his bed, grinning at him with that mischievous look in her dark eyes; and he suddenly had the rather unsettling yet not wholly unpleasant feeling that he had just jumped into the deep end of something big, something which he had not entirely wrapped his head around yet, something much more than just sex.

_Merlin, I'm fucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we have it! Sorry it took me ages to finish this, I might go back and clean it up/edit it again at some point but on the other hand this is a pwp bit, and it was fun to write so I hope you enjoy reading regardless!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing actual smut (like 95% smut/5% plot type deal) so constructive criticism/comments are welcome! This will likely be a 3-parter. 
> 
> Hope you're all doing well and keeping safe, and thanks for reading!


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